Holiday Weekend Performance Anxiety
(And How to Survive the BBQ)
So, it is a Holiday weekend. And some of you are panicking. I know you are because I've heard it all week. In my Resets, Shifting Patterns, DM's, my Facebook group, it's everywhere. And honestly, this conversation is not new on any platform I am on. We are constantly talking about it. On my Substack, I just wrote something about the "enough point," too.
You have been doing so well; you’ve been checking in with your hunger, and suddenly you are staring down a three-day weekend, a cooler full of drinks, and your dad (shhh, don't tell him, but my dad is the ultimate food pusher) shoving another turkey burger or a massive scoop of med salad on your plate.
Are you feeling anxious about this? Have you gained and lost weight many times in your lifetime, right before every summer?
You are terrified of the food environment, so you try to "perform" wellness. You think: I am going to a party at 3 PM, so I will just skip breakfast and lunch and save up my calories. Or maybe you skipped eating entirely just so you could drink. Do not do that. Because when you show up to a party starving, your blood sugar is tanked, your cortisol is spiking at like 400 percent, and your prefrontal cortex goes completely offline, so you don't make choices; you just survive. And surviving usually looks like eating 30 percent more food than you actually need while standing directly over the chip bowl.
Are you actually hungry for those chips? Or are you just standing next to the bowl because you don't know what to do with your hands?
I didn't grow up with this scarcity mindset. In my house, we had this amazing pantry. It was literally full to the brim. My mom bought enough to feed an army, and that army was our friends. We never knew foods were "healthy" or "unhealthy." We didn't know we were supposed to eat in limits, uh, or only at certain times. My mom and dad grew up like that, with a lot of restrictions, so they made sure we were fortunate enough not to live that way.
Because I grew up without food restrictions, I don't panic at a buffet. I don't treat food like an emergency. But a lot of people do.
We have to stop treating holiday weekends like an all-or-nothing test. Food is fuel. It is not an event. And if you feel like you are totally stuck in this cycle of restricting and binging every single holiday, take a pause. (Maybe you might want to try my 'Why Am I Stuck?' Quiz. It will tell you exactly what is actually blocking you.)
The Holiday Weekend Survival Rules
You need a plan. Not a diet plan. A biological plan. (And in random order because who does not like more chaos? It’s just how they came to me today.)
Rule #1: Eat when you are hungry. So, start with water to pause yourself before you put food in your mouth. Eat your normal breakfast.
Rule #5: Drink 8 glasses of water. You need to drink your eight hours, uh, eight cups of water. Dehydration masks itself as hunger. Aim for 4 cups before lunch and 4 before 6 p.m., so you aren't waking up all night. And if you are drinking alcohol, double it.
Rule #3: Eat without distractions. Every single time you sit down to eat, I want you to repeat: " Where is my body? Where is my mind? Because if you are eating while walking around holding a Solo cup, you are going to eat right past your enough point. Put the food on a plate. Find a lawn chair.
Rule #4: 10,000 steps. Get your steps in before the party starts. Add 500 more steps by using the bathroom on another floor if you have to. Because once you get there, the only walking you are doing is back and forth to the cooler.
Want to meet others who also wanted to shift their pattern? FIND OUT MORE
The Actual BBQ Protocol
So you are at the party. There is a massive buffet. Here is exactly what you do.
1. Do the lap. Do not just take a plate and start loading it up. Walk the entire length of the table. Ask yourself: What do I actually want? Rule #2 is: Eat what you love. Catch yourself not judging the food you eat. If you want the potato salad, eat it.
2. The 3-Bite Rule. If there are brownies and you really want one, eat the brownie! But remember your biology. The first bite is magical. The second bite is great. But by the third bite, your taste buds are completely adapted to the sugar, so the fourth bite tastes exactly like the third bite. You don't need the whole tray. 🤔
3. The Food Pusher Script. Someone is going to tell you to eat more. They always do. As I said, it’s my dad. You do not have to explain your metabolism to them. Just say: "This looks so incredible, but I am so full right now, uh, but I would love to take some home for later!" It’s a compliment to their cooking, sets a boundary, and ends the conversation. Boom. Done. 🎤 drop.
Your Weekend Mantra
Write this down. Put it on your phone:
"I do not have to earn my food, and I do not have to eat to please others."
Let's Do This Together 💕
You can always message me on Instagram and tell me what your absolute favorite BBQ food is that you are going to enjoy completely guilt-free this weekend. I love to hear how people succeed with a little support.
